Things I wish I had known before moving to Spain.
There are a lot of good things about Spain. I’ve written about them here. But I wouldn’t be honest if I said that Spain was all peaches and cream. In fact there are quite a lot of things about Spain that I don’t love or, in fact, don’t like at all.
I’m going to get in trouble with this post, I know many won’t agree and will tell me the predictable “if you don’t like it you should go back home”. That’s fine. A lot of people don’t want to hear anything negative about their adopted home.
But no place is perfect and since I’ve previously written about all the rosy aspects of Spain, I’d like to balance that off with the negatives. Many are of the “things I wish I had known before moving to Spain” category. We’ve lived in Spain almost 5 years now and looking back we had certain ideas about Spain, some based on the narrative espoused by expats, others based on the conventional stereotypes that come to mind when typecasting Spain.
Why write this post? The first is that people thinking of moving to Spain should know both sides of the coin. The second is just being honest with both ourselves and people reading this.
You may not agree with some of what I’ve written below. People have different experiences and those experiences shape their perspectives. I’m open to different opinions.
Having said that, I’m going to tell you some of ours.
Things I wish I had known before moving to Spain
1: About the openness and friendliness of the Spanish
We always heard (and still hear today) about how the Spanish are friendly, open and embracing of foreigners.
We thought it when we moved to Nerja in 2020. We lived in Nerja 2 ½ years and I did a video at the time of the pros and cons of Nerja, citing as a pro the friendliness of the people. Of course Nerja is Spain-lite so maybe the locals weren’t representative of the Spanish at large…
I recall a conversation I had with a long-time expat back in 2023 when we were considering moving into the interior. We wanted to get away from the “expat colonies”, we wanted to experience the “real Spain” among the Spanish. I recall my friend’s reaction, the way he looked at me and said “why would you want to live among the Spanish?”. I was taken aback.
When we moved to Antequera we were initially puzzled by the locals. Lissette (who’s Latina) would get hard stares. People were short, unsmiling or just rude. There was no courtesy – making room on a sidewalk is a foreign concept to the Spanish, as is the concept of personal space. Get in a line at the supermarket and the person behind you will be huffing and puffing like they’re a doctor with a heart-saving operation to attend to…but when it’s their time at the cash they’ll take all the time they need, counting their change while having a conversation with the teller. Suddenly you don’t exist.
It was such a shock from life on the coast in Expatlandia. We thought with time things would get better, that places we frequented would get friendlier with time. And in a few places it did – we became friends with the lady who owned the local bar and the other lady at the fruteria. But friendly encounters were otherwise few and far between. We never felt as isolated in a place as we did living in Antequera.
A year ago we moved to Granada. We wanted a slightly bigger, more international city. And Granada definitely is that. It’s also a beautiful city (which Antequera is as well by the way – it doesn’t get much recognition but I really do think it’s one of Spain’s most beautiful cities).
Our experience in Granada has been much better than in Antequera. People haven’t been as overtly disagreeable as they were in Antequera. But again, we don’t find them “friendly” and generally find them closed off to foreigners. Again, we have a few Spanish acquaintances we speak to, all neighbours.
Asides from our neighbours, our regular interactions are with the Chinese lady at our favorite China store, the Panamanian at the fruteria, the Venezolana at the panederia and the Chinese couple who run our favorite sushi restaurant. All wonderful people and they are open, talking to us about their experiences and lives*. But again, none of these people are Spanish. We’ll go to our favorite Spanish cafe or tapas place and we’ll get a smile and a “what do you want to order?” but that’s the extent of it.
*some of these people have been in Spain 20 years and speak perfect Spanish. But they feel exactly as we do about the openness and friendliness of the Spanish. They all say that they have no Spanish friends and that any conversations they do have with Spaniards are superficial.
We’ve enjoyed the history and beauty of Andalusia’s interior cities. Both Granada and Antequera are fascinating cities and, with the train connections, they make travel to other destinations easy. But as far as living and potentially making friends, I don’t think that would ever happen. Understandably, the Spanish have their families and their group of friends. But it’s more than that, I think in the end that the Spanish generally are just not very open to foreigners.
It’s completely changed the way I feel about Spain and where I want to live. I told Lissette that the day we want to settle down in Spain (and I mean “settle down”, maybe buy a place etc), it’s going to be in a place with a fair-sized expat population. In hindsight, my long-time Spain expat friend was right. And he’s not the only one, since then I’ve had other long-term expats in Spain telling me the same thing.
So the Spanish being friendly, open and embracing of foreigners? I don’t really think they are. It’s come as a surprise to us.
2: You have to learn Spanish if you’re going to be fully embraced by the culture
This is related to point 1. You can speak perfect Spanish and you may still feel like an outsider.
Language is the reason we chose Spain and not Portugal or Greece or Turkey. Lissette speaks perfect Spanish. I’m at about 75%: I can get anything I need to done in Spanish but can’t have a deep conversation unless that person dumbs it down to simple Spanish.
Readers who know us know that we’re travellers. We spent the 6 years prior to living in Spain travelling the world. Along the way we lived in Croatia a little over a year, spent 4 months in Ukraine, spent over 6 months in Thailand.
We didn’t speak the native language in any of those places but we never felt isolated. We met people, had friendly interactions, even met some friends that we are still in touch with today.
Knowing what we know now, speaking the language was overrated as a factor in choosing a base. Sure, it helps in getting things done. But it hasn’t gotten us closer to the people or the culture.
3: Spain is a 1st world country where your consumer rights and regulations will be protected
I’ve never felt scammed or had as bad service anywhere in the world as in Spain.
It’s happened with large Spanish companies like Vodafone, Movistar and Renfe. I wrote about the Movistar and Renfe experiences here.
I flew Iberia to Mexico City and arrived 36 hours late because my first flight was delayed. I wrote about that here. EU regulations state that passengers incurring delays of more than 3 hours are due compensation. Iberia refused my claim with no reason given. I’ve written the AESA (the Spanish regulatory board in charge of passenger rights) twice and 7 months later still have not had a reply email from them. So I had to laugh when the EU recently decided to change the 3 hours of minimum delay to 4 hours and the Spanish objected to it, stating it was detrimental to passenger rights. Precious.
It’s one thing to have rules and regulations and regulatory bodies overlooking them…but it all means nothing if those rules and regulations are unenforced and regulatory bodies are just a place to hire family members who do nothing.
4: The “Healthy Mediterranean diet”
You hear about the Healthy Mediterranean diet and dream of grilled eggplant, zucchini and fresh tomatoes drizzled with olive oil, with a sprinkling of walnuts on top.
Sure, you can find the ingredients for your salad in Spain, just as I can find the same ingredients at the local market in Canada. But if you’re thinking of finding a fresh California-style salad at your local Spanish restaurant then dream on. What’s on offer is fried pork and fried fish generously sprinkled with salt. The only salad might be a Russian salad (diced veggies in mayonnaise) or some kind of tasteless mixed salad.
I had dreams of tasty Mediterranean cuisine based on our travels through Greece, Croatia, Italy and Turkey, places where grilled vegetables and yogurt-based dips and spreads are prominent. You’ll find none of that in Spanish restaurants. In fact, I find Spanish restaurant food about the unhealthiest and least vegetarian-friendly of just about any place I’ve been.
As I say, you can buy fresh fruit, vegetable, cheese and nuts in a fruteria and make yourself a healthy and delicious meal at home. And Spain produces more olive oil than anyone. But don’t expect any of that eating out – eating healthy is something you have to plan for and make for yourself.
5: Quality of homes
In your typical Spanish home there is no insulation and they get freezing cold in winter. So while you might come to Spain for the warmer weather (and it is definitely warmer outside), inside you may find yourself colder than you ever were in your home in Canada, Norway or Sweden.
Again, that’s due to lack of insulation but also because of the draftiness of Spanish buildings. Even when we moved into a brand-new apartment in Antequera we were freezing in the winter and had to buy portable heaters.
Indoor temperatures are rarely comfortable: bitterly cold in winter and overly hot in summer. We’ve lived in 3 different places in Spain and that’s been a constant.
It’s something we never expected.
6. Rats and roaches on the coasts
We lived over a year on the coast in Croatia and never saw any vermin. So it was a shock when we moved to Spain and had to constantly battle huge cockroaches. Our 2nd year we had a cockroach infestation in our 1st floor bathroom.
Rats were also an issue in our complex. We fixed that by affixing fencing material to our gates. But every year the cable company had to come and replace some cabling – the technician would tell me that it was because of rats chewing through the cables lying under the ground in the common space.
We haven’t had any roach or rat issues since moving into the interior (we’ll see the occasional dead roach lying somewhere but they seem to be much less numerous than along the much more humid coasts).
On that note: just a week ago we spent a night in Torremolinos because of an early morning flight. And predictably, we ended up having a huge roach in the bathroom (a 200 euro/ night room, which just goes to show that roaches are just a part of life on the coast).
As I say, these are things I wish I had known before moving to Spain. They may not have resulted in a different decision (as I’ve written, there are many good things about living in Spain) but they wouldn’t have come as an unpleasant surprise.
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An interesting post . We have lived in Benalmadena for 7 years and have found the Spanish to be very friendly and helpful , often going out of their way to help, even the police and immigration. I think speaking the language is essential. But we haven’t made many new Spanish friends which I actually put down to age , it’s much easier when you are younger and have kids in school so having things in common. But in summary I find the locals more open than say France, Germany, Chile or Dubai. We are happy on the coast with its mix of Spanish and foreigners.
Much appreciate the feedback Alan. Our experience is that locals friendlier on the coasts (having lived almost 3 years in Nerja). Maybe just more comfortable around foreigners? But we saw quite a difference when moving inland.
I’ve lived in 5 countries and truly integrating and having locals open up to you, has been hard everywhere. It’s just natural that people will stick to their social ties they’ve had for years. I’ve found the Netherlands the most difficult of everywhere I’ve lived when jt comes to social circles.
Thank you Iliyana. Yes, I’ve heard that about the Dutch.
Great post! Thank you for voicing that. Just discovered you looking for similar experiences. My very conclusion after 15 years in Sevilla. Right now, there are mice in the house and owner doesn’t want to do anything. People see Sevilla as beautiful but when you look closer, trees are dying, parks aren’t taken care of. The city is dry and full of vermin’s and roaches. The management is elitist. And workers aren’t protected if you’re not back up by family ties. I know, because I lost my job. I studied and work with them for years. They can be very intense especially in Séville, until a crisis hits you, then you learned the hard way. Years of intense daily interactions doesn’t make any friendship. Community for a foreigner is where other foreigners are. Maybe that’s reminiscence of Franco but Spaniards aren’t about to welcome who hasn’t been next to their cradle growing up. Foreigners are amusing or useful but not part of their social fabric. And moreover, friendship means nothing if you’re not linked by family ties. So good luck to be taken seriously by locals. Not impossible but really not to be expected. And yes, I am thinking about changing country.
Thank you so much for sharing this. In 2016 we spent 2 months in Seville (Sept, Oct if I remember right). There was a cockroach epidemic, people were taking photos of them storming out of the sewers in droves. We thought it was just a bad year, that’s what we were told. But hearing that this is normal is really a turnoff. Like I said, we never saw a roach in Croatia. Why are there so many in Spain?
And thank you for confirming our thoughts on the Spanish.
Yes, about the cockroaches and other vermin, Séville is an ancient island who was supposed to be the second Rome. And the vestige of the emperor Adrian are still within the city. Meaning that the soil is humid even if air is dry on th ex surface and I think that contributes. Winter to me houses are humid too. On the banks of Guadalquivir there are many rats. I think it’s a mixed of mismanagement and natural condition, but a lot is negligence. Like the landlord I have. I don’t want to paint an only gloomed vision but when you think about living here not just touring, these things do counts. If I stay in Spain, I would explore other cities with better management. I would say that Cordoba does it a bit better. Although I am in love with Granada. Yes maybe Granada 🙂 Thanks a lot for this blog and good luck ahead.
If it makes you feel any better, a Spanish friend from Valladolid spent 3 years in Seville studying for her PhD and she complained it was impossible to make any friends too. She’d socialize with people from her studies / lab work but they all stuck to their childhood friend groups and family on evenings/weekends.
My experience has been the same. My Spanish wife has great friends from childhood and university but even those friends tend to stick to their own. We can’t mix friend groups when making plans.
Compared to my experiences in Canada, it’s completely different, but I think British culture is similar (although people are more up for banter at the pub).
I am not surprised at all! I just wonder if there is a place in Spain where the social life is more open? And I guess you would need to be in Madrid or Barcelona. If one can afford it.
Definitely enjoyed reading your article. Thank you!
Many things that we wished to know before moving to a new country but not many people say.
I haven’t been in Spain but I’m one day hopefully in 2026 I’ll be there, heard beautiful things about there.
At the same time, few things I agree with you, but I think that happens on different countries as well. I’ve been living in Canada for the last 16 years and unfortunately found that people are really polite but cold, it’s really complicated to make friends. Don’t take me wrong, I love Canada but I might moved somewhere else in the future. I always open to other countries, I’m from Mexico so I thought why not Spain. I have to read your other article too, to see the other side of Spain and of course, go there few times and see it with my own eyes.
Again, great article. Thank you
Thank you for the comment Maria. I’m actually flying to Mexico today, a country I love. You’re the 2nd Latina who’s mentioned that making friends in Canada is complicated which surprises me but maybe the bottom line is that making friends anywhere when you are an outsider is difficult? I wish you all the best of luck 🙂
I agree with everything you said but need to add the insane taxation and bureaucracy. I never expected I’d spend 100+ hours a year filing Modelo 720 or paying taxes on simply having savings and RRSPs (Wealth Tax). Everything else I’ve learned to accept but I will never be able to accept having my hard-earned money confiscated by a Corrupt Government to buy votes from pensioners (40% of Federal Spending goes to unfunded pensions, another 10% to debt service costs, and another 10% to administration).
Yes, I didn’t want to go into the taxes and bureaucracy. Or on working as a freelancer or opening a business. But you are absolutely right.
Thanks very much for the article
My husband and myself had travelled in 5 continents. For us European husband and myself Peruvian there are only 5 continents in the world and probably we were luckier, did not find cockroaches nor rats at all. Enjoyed better the simple but delicious Portuguese food. Difficult to make friends also in Canada and we are 20 years here. We say hi in winter and hi in summer to our neighbors But at least in Spain we are able to talk to Spanish people for one hour and enjoy the conversation. Being Spanish my mother’s language I enjoyed very much Spain. Not decided to move there yet. Still researching and evaluating if the grass is greener or not at all. Thanks again!!
I’m actually in Canada now – had a family emergency and here for 2 months after not having come to Canada for the last 5 years. My biggest surprise after all this time away has been how friendly Canadians are. I guess I forgot or maybe it’s just comparisons to the last 5 years being in Spain.
But I appreciate your comment and perspective.
The problem here with restaurant food is that the Spanish cater for the demand and whatever you say about seeking fresh exotic salads the fact is in this world the majority prefer low cost , salted fried or grilled food.
Also every bar has become a restaurant and again caters towards demand , the fact is that the great unwashed want a Russian salad, fried pork, Patatas bravas , and battered anything.
I eat in several upmarket Spanish restaurants that provide a daily changing menu based on seasons. You pay more for these and because of that they have fewer customers and people see them as a place to go for special occasion not as a pop out twice a weak to down loads of beers and couple bottles of wine and wash it down with a few tapas.
As for the Spanish. I am fluent, been here 20 years full time, my kids came went to nursery school, primary school, secondary school so we met a lot of Spanish families, very friendly , very accommodating but never going to be your best friend. I believe I was appreciated more because I spoke Spanish but ultimately I was a foreigner. So at school from nursery to primary, to secondary we saw foreign kids gravitate to each other and Spanish kids would group together and the parents likewise gravitated towards the families their children were connected to.
We are all more comfortable in our own clics and if given the choice of who to be friends with I will always look to my British compatriots, we recall the same lifestyles, we understand and enjoy similar humour, it is much easier to be comfortable. No different for the Spanish I guess and as we get older we prefer to reduce our friends circle, simply because it is easier to manage a smaller close knit circle than a large one.
Great comment, thank you for your feedback.
The fact that people (past the age of 30) tend to stick to their old circles and not easily let new people in even if they are superficially friendly is probably true everywhere. I’ve heard this being said by expats about dozens or more different countries.
Very true!
Nine years living in Spain so far and I think I agree with all the things you’ve raised. From afar Spain is very seductive and, yes, there are some wonderful things here. But, go deeper, and without going into too many details, many things stink enough to have convinced me to move on. Moreover, climate change and increasingly intolerable summers have sealed the deal. I’m heading back to northern Europe. The one good thing is I bought my apartment in Valencia shortly after moving here, and in the current market it’s worth more than double what I paid for it.
Great article and food for thought for those of us contemplating this.
Thank you very much!
Not having lived in Spain, but traveled extensively throughout the country, I concur with your assessment of Spanish food. Most of the really enjoyable meals have been in non-Spanish restaurants, with a few exceptions.
We’re the same Jan, we’re not fans of Spanish food and when we do eat out it’s usually Indian, sushi or Chinese. It doesn’t help that Lissette doesn’t eat meat. We still often go out for tostadas, tapas etc but for meals it’s usually non-Spanish.
I’ve lived in Madrid and Valencia, and have traveled to Spain many times, from Bilbao to Sevilla, and many more towns and cities.
Luckily, I have never had an encounter with a rat or vermin in any house, (on the coast of Valencia,) or inland, apartment or hotel I’ved stayed at, on six continents. Perhaps you’ve simply suffered lots of bad luck?
I know it’s gotten worse, tons of people on the coasts complaining this year about roaches. With warmer temps and resistance to pesticides there seem to be more every year. But yes, other than Spain and Mexico, we have not had cockroach experiences overseas either.
“Plaga de ratas
Las ratas se multiplican en España: casi 20 millones de ratas, cuatro por cada diez habitantes
Ciudades como Vigo, Talavera de la Reina o Getafe han tenido que implementar medidas urgentes por la invasión de estos roedores.”
https://www.antena3.com/noticias/sociedad/ratas-multiplican-espana-casi-20-millones-ratas-cuatro-cada-diez-habitantes_2024082266c61f6dddf3680001754722.html
Wow! Gracias Jaime.